Is Sex Food?
A woman asked this question sometimes ago. Apparently, she was frustrated with husband’s incessant request for sex. He could have been demanding for sexual intimacy often. Perhaps some other people too may want to know if sex is food?
YES! Sex is food!!
Oh! NO!! Sex is not food! Because you can’t “eat” sex as you eat food.
I think the question should have been rephrased as “should husbands and wives engage in sexual intimacy as often as they eat food?”
As a marriage counselor, I will give 7 reasons for a YES! Sexual intimacy should be engaged in regularly.
But then, I will also give 7 reasons for a NO! A husband and his wife should not engage in sexual intimacy as often as they eat food.
At the conclusion stage, I will offer my recommended weekly “dosage” of sexual intimacy a husband and his wife should engage in; and then leave you and your spouse to your convictions.
But as an introduction, firstly, it will be instructive to note that recent empirical studies on marriage relationship issues, published in the “Journal of Marriage and Family” showed that irregular sexual intimacy always ends up in marital dissatisfaction, infidelity, separation, and divorce.
In other words, sexual dissatisfaction is one of the major causes of overall marital displeasure.
Individuals who are dissatisfied with their sexual relationship are more likely to engage in extramarital affairs, marital instability and divorce. Irregular or unsatisfactory sexual intimacy often results in higher rates of separation and divorce.
It has been found out that over 20% of marriages are sexless. A sexless marriage is defined as any marital relationship having sexual activities less than 10 times within a year. These sort of marriages have a higher likelihood of experiencing marital distress and divorce.
Recent studies also show that over 50% of men and women reported that sexual problems negatively affected their relationship, contributing to feelings of dissatisfaction and potential separation.
Secondly, it’s important to note that sexual intimacy involves both physical and neurological aspects. Sexual activity has an impact on the brain. There is need to highlight what goes on in the brain during sexual intimacy. The roles played by dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin in sexual intimacy cannot be overemphasised. Each of these contributes unique spices to having good sexual intimacy.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. During sexual activity, dopamine levels rise, enhancing feelings of pleasure and reward. This neurotransmitter is also involved in the anticipation and motivation for sexual activity, making it a key player in sexual arousal and desire.
Endorphins are also neurotransmitters that act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers. During and after sexual activity, the release of endorphins contributes to feelings of euphoria and relaxation. They help reduce stress and pain, providing a sense of well-being and satisfaction.
Oxytocin is often referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle hormone” due to its role in social bonding and intimacy. Released during physical touch, hugging, and orgasm, oxytocin enhances emotional connection and trust between partners. It promotes bonding and increases feelings of closeness and attachment, which are crucial for maintaining intimate relationships.
Together, these chemicals work synergistically to enhance the physical and emotional aspects of sexual intimacy, fostering both pleasure and deeper connection between partners.
The lack of any of these due to irregular sexual intimacy triggers dissatisfaction, dull moment, and sometimes emotional problems.
The following are the 7 reasons why married couples should engage in regular sex:
1
Regular sex strengthens marriage bond:
Frequent sexual activities always enhance emotional and physical intimacy, deepening the bond between partners.
2
Regular sex relieves stress:
Engaging in sex releases endorphins and other hormones that help reduce stress and promote a sense of well-being. When you’re stressed, sex might not seem appealing, but it can actually help a lot. During sex, your brain releases chemicals that make you feel good and lower stress hormones.
3
Physical Health:
Regular sex can contribute to better cardiovascular health, improve immune function, and burn calories. It boosts your immune system by increasing levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that helps fight off diseases. People in long-term relationships tend to have higher levels of this antibody. In addition, sex can help alleviate pain from menstrual cramps, chronic pain, and migraines. The release of endorphins and oxytocin during sex helps block pain. Apart from these, sex is a light form of exercise, especially for young and healthy people. It burns calories, stretches muscles, and increases heart beat rate, making it a fun and beneficial activity.
4
Increased Happiness: Frequent sexual activity is associated with higher levels of happiness and satisfaction in relationships. Oxytocin, released during sex, makes you feel happy and content. You may not need to have sex everyday; even once a week in a committed relationship can boost your happiness.
5
Better Sleep:
Sex can lead to improved sleep quality due to the release of oxytocin and prolactin, which promote relaxation. For the best sleep benefits, try to have an orgasm with your partner. Studies show that people sleep better and have a higher sex drive when they get enough sleep.
6
Increased Libido:
Regular sexual activity can help maintain a healthier sex drive. Frequent ejaculation may reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Studies show men who ejaculate more often have a lower risk of developing this cancer. Also, men who have sex at least twice a week are less likely to have heart disease. Women also benefit, with frequent, satisfying sex linked to lower blood pressure.
7
Communication: Frequent intimate moments can improve communication and understanding between partners, leading to a healthier relationship.
Sex creates more affection and closeness in relationships. This affection can last for hours and even months, improving the overall relationship.
On the other hand, the 7 reasons for a NO: Sex is not food are as follows:
1
Too frequent sexual activities brings in Unrealistic Expectations:
Expecting sex as frequently as meals can create unrealistic pressures and expectations, potentially harming the relationship.
2
Extra frequent sexual activities results in Physical Exhaustion:
The physical demands of such frequent activity could lead to exhaustion or injury, negatively affecting overall health.
3
Too much of everything is said to be bad. This is because it leads to what the economists call diminishing marginal utility – a kind of Decreased Quality: Quantity does not always equate to quality; too frequent sex might reduce the emotional and physical satisfaction derived from it.
4
Sexual intimacy demands time. Sex is not a mechanical activity that can be time-tabled. Rather, sex is emotional and can be time-consuming. Foe instance, it usually takes plenty time for women to be aroused. So, it is not just “put it in, and pull it out” activity. Practically speaking, modern life often involves busy schedules, and prioritizing sex over other important activities might not be feasible or healthy.
5
Emotional Disconnect:
If sex becomes routine or obligatory, it may lose its emotional significance and intimacy, leading to a disconnect between partners.
6
Individual Differences:
Sexual needs and desires vary greatly among individuals; what works for one partner may not be suitable or enjoyable for the other.
7
Mental Health:
Pressure to engage in frequent sex can lead to stress, anxiety, and a negative impact on mental health for both partners.
In summary, food and sexual activities are both important. But the differing that, for survival, every human must eat; whereas, sexual intimacy is not compulsory for survival. To this extent, sex is not food; and it may not be engaged in as frequently as eating food. After all, when everyone of us was at childhood stage of life, no one thinks about sexual intimacy! Yet, we all lived on.
However, sexual intimacy is said to be like eating food in the sense that sexual activities with your spouse, brings strong bonding and unforgettable exotic moments if carried out in an atmosphere of happiness, peace and love.
To this end, it should be noted that the frequency of sexual intimacy between a husband and his wife varies greatly depending on the couple’s preferences, needs, and circumstances.
In the light of this, the following are some factors to consider when determining what works best for a each relationship:
1
Communication:
Open and honest discussions about each partner’s desires and expectations are crucial. Understanding each other’s needs can help establish a mutually satisfying frequency.
2
Individual Differences:
Every person has a unique libido. What feels right for one couple might not work for another. It’s important to find a balance that satisfies both partners.
3
Relationship Satisfaction:
Couples who are happy and emotionally connected tend to have a more fulfilling sexual relationship. Prioritizing emotional intimacy can positively influence sexual intimacy.
4
Health and Lifestyle:
Physical health, stress levels, and lifestyle choices can all impact sexual desire and frequency. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can contribute to a more active and satisfying sex life.
5
Life Stages and Circumstances:
Factors such as having young children, job stress, or aging can influence sexual frequency. Being adaptable and understanding these changes can help maintain a healthy relationship.
Conclusively, to the last question: what is the recommended dosage for sexual intimacy?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer, but research suggests that couples who engage in sexual intimacy about once a week report the highest levels of happiness and relationship satisfaction. However, the key is finding what works best for both partners and being willing to adjust as needed.
