“Baby-less Mothers Raising Mother-less Babies”
Fruitfulness! Child-bearing! Fruit of the womb! These are treasures in the home of married couples. Only those who are apparently barren actually know the value of having children. It is part of traditional and customary beliefs especially in Africa that a married couple without biological children is cursed. The expectation of the family, in-laws, and peers with exception of the enemies and foes is to have your own children. Nothing assuages the tears of “waiting mothers” than for them to lap their own biological babies. No wonder, most women who are classified as “waiting mothers” always go to any length, spiritual, metaphysical, medical and otherwise in an attempt to get pregnant and bear children.
Of course, it is not a new trend but an age-long battle. Women who had delays in getting pregnant even in Bible days pray earnestly with tears to God for mercy. Such women as Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Ruth, Naomi, Hannah, Elizabeth, and many more are classical examples of those who intently and intensely prayed for children before they were blessed. It is only those who the shoe pinches that bear the brunt. Hence, those who bore children, as at when due after marriage, rarely understand the pains of childlessness! It can be easy to counsel, sympathize and sometimes empathize with such people, but a fresh deep sore can’t be compared with a scar. Thus, it is rare and difficult for any minister of God to counsel waiting mothers to forget about the thought of having children.
Nonetheless, there is enough comfort in the word of God for both would-be fathers and waiting mothers. It is expressly written in Exodus 23:25-26 that none shall be barren.
“And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. There shall nothing cast their young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil.”
Also, God promised in the book of Deut. 7:12-14 that there shall be neither male nor female barren; not even amongst our cattle.
“…the LORD thy God shall keep unto thee the covenant … And he will love thee, and bless thee, and multiply thee: he will also bless the fruit of thy womb, and the fruit of thy land, thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep, in the land which he sware unto thy fathers to give thee. Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you, or among your cattle.” Deut. 7:12-14
But then, barrenness is real. In recent time, there are so many couples waiting on the Lord for the fruit of the womb.
How should a Christian handle barrenness? What does the Bible say on infertility? Without prejudice to the many causes of barrenness, and according to Pro. 13:12 “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” Long period of infertility and childlessness can be very heart-breaking especially after fasting and praying all manners of prayers, after sowing seeds and attending special programmes, after several visits to the gynecologists; after taking all orthodox medical and trado-medical prescriptions; and after trying in vitro-fertilization for some times, yet, without any solution.
At such trying times, the devil will want to bring back the memory of some past sins and misdeeds – that God deliberately withhold the fruits of the womb as punishment. But according to Galatians 3:13-14, Jesus Christ has redeemed us from all curses of barrenness and every redeemed soul is entitled to the blessings of Abraham which includes fruitfulness.
Satan can also be reminding and intimidating you with the sins of your parents and ancestors as the cause of the infertility. This is a lie of the devil because it is written that children would no longer bear the consequences of their parents’ sins.
“In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children’s teeth are set on edge. But every one shall die for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grape, his teeth shall be set on edge, Jeremiah 31:29-30
Every waiting couple should know that no matter how long, the promises of God will still come to pass. For instance,
- Abraham and Sarah were barren until the age of 100 years and 90 years respectively in Genesis 11:30.
- Isaac had to wait for a long time before he had Esau and Jacob in Genesis 25:21.
- Rachel prayed fervently for a long time but at last God “opened her womb” in Genesis 30:1; and 35:18.
- Manoah’s wife was barren for a long time but God surprised her with the birth of Samson in Judges 13:2.
- In Luke 1:7, 36 Elizabeth gave birth to John the Baptist in her old age.
- In the case of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:5-6, even though it was God who shut her womb, she still had the last laugh with the birth of seven children in 1 Samuel 2:5.
It must be noted that children are the blessings of the Lord, Psalm 127:3 and according to John 3:27, no one can obtain anything except it is given him from heaven. God alone allows or disallows fruitfulness. No doubt, He has a very good divine plan for everyone, Jeremiah 29:11. And at His time, He will make everything beautiful, Ecclesiastes 3:11. In the meantime, we should continue to pray and constantly maintain an attitude of thanksgiving and praise, believing that even at any age, it is not over yet. God can still work out a miracle.
It is also not out of place to prayerfully consider whether to adopt or become a foster-parent. This is because “known unto God are all His works from the beginning of the world” Acts 15:18. And also, on any issue, God always has more than a thousand ways whereas humans have none.
It is interesting to note that there was no woman that died barren in the Bible except in 2 Samuel 6:16-23, where Michal, the daughter of King Saul and wife of David was reportedly childless until death.
“And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart…. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself! … Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.
As David was joyfully praising God when the Ark of the Lord was being relocated to Jerusalem, Michal felt the way and manner David danced was too far below royal dignities. She disdained and despised him in her heart. And perhaps as a punishment, David never had conjugal relationship with her again. Or worse still, may be God just sealed her womb. Thus, she remained childless till death.
But a closer study of some other passages of the Bible shows that Michal was not barren after all. For instance, it was stated in 2 Samuel 21:5-9 that Michal had five sons that she brought up on behalf of Adriel. This is a classic example of adoption.
“… But the king took the two sons of Rizpah the daughter of Aiah, whom she bare unto Saul, Armoni and Mephibosheth; and the five sons of Michal the daughter of Saul, whom she brought up for Adriel the son of Barzillai the Meholathite…” 2 Samuel 21:5-9
What is Adoption?
Adoption is the process whereby somebody legally takes up the responsibilities of parents over another person who is not his or her biological child. By law, adopted children have one hundred percent rights, status and position as biological children. On the part of the parents adopting, adoption is one way out of childlessness or barrenness. On the other part of the child being adopted, it is a way of having parental care which is lacking with biological parents. For both parties, adoption goes beyond giving of mutual benefits; it is a divine arrangement where either side can fulfill their God-given destinies which would have otherwise been impossible with biological parents.
Adoptions encompass much more than foster care. Foster care happens when a child only stays temporarily under another family. But adoption makes a child to be a permanent member of the adoptive family with all the rights and privileges of a biological child. Fostering means the child still have claims with his biological family.
There could be many reasons for giving up a child for adoption. For example, in the event of a victim unable to raise a child born out of rape or incest, the newly born child could be given up for adoption. After all, evidences abound in real life of some motherless babies becoming great in life. As expounded in a recent home movie written and produced by Evangelist Segun Okeowo, Babyless Mothers, “God often permits ‘babyless mothers’ so that ‘motherless babies’ could be adopted and both will find solace, joy, destiny and fulfillment in life!” In other words, in God’s divine equation, babies without mothers could be raised by mothers without babies such that none will suffer any social stigma.
Adoption within a legal framework is not a sin. It may be one of the ways of fulfilling the counsel of God for both parties. But for the daughter of Pharaoh who adopted Moses, according to the book of Acts 7:20-22, Moses would have ended up as one of his mates who were murdered at birth. And that would mean the world would have missed all the great works Moses did!
“In which time Moses was born, and was exceeding fair, and nourished up in his father’s house three months: And when he was cast out, Pharaoh’s daughter took him up, and nourished him for her own son. And Moses was learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and was mighty in words and in deeds. Acts 7:20-22
There are many other examples of adoption in the Bible.
- In the book of Esther 2:7, Queen Esther was adopted by her uncle, Mordecai.
- Even, our Lord Jesus Christ, who was conceived of the Holy Spirit, in Matthew 1:18-25, was adopted by Joseph the husband of Mary.
- And according to Romans 8:15, every believer in Jesus Christ is a child of God – not biological but by adoption.
- In 1 Samuel chapters 1 and 2, Prophet Eli adopted little Samuel at the age of three.
This should be an encouragement to waiting mothers and would-be fathers. There is nothing wrong in adoption or giving up of one’s wards for adoption. It neither weakens faith nor makes anyone less-holy. With prayerful convictions, all it takes is the right attitude. So long as the law of the land is observed, the Bible has nothing against adoption. As a matter of fact, the Scriptures have everything in support of adoption.
However, in considering whether or not to adopt, care must be taken to follow due process of the law. Under no circumstance should adoption be undertaken fraudulently, with undue influence or under duress.
Adoption of Children by Gays:
We need to also know what the Bible says on adoption of children by homosexuals, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, transgenders and sodomites.
God is against sodomy, homo-sexualism, lesbianism, bisexualism and transgenderism. They are all evil perversions of the divine order. And so long as the root of a tree is poisonous, the fruit can never be any better! In Genesis 2:22-23, it was stated that God brought the woman to the man and not another man to the man. Gay adoption is not biblical because two men, homosexuals or two women, lesbians, cannot be regarded as a family.
